User blog:FiTheHorse/Horseback Riding Stories That Are Irrelevant To This Wikia, Part 3
I is back!! I took a HUGE break(NOT FROM RIDING, from writing), but hopefully more in this series soon!! I feel awful about abandoning this for so long, so I’m doing it Story-by-Story, but I’ll edit them onto this post!! As per usual........ * NOTE- The problems in the stories are not to blame or embarrass anyone. They’re just weird stories that have happened to me. Thank you. Alright, back to my legit livin’ la vida loca,” as they say. 5.). OK. I woke up. YASSSSS to life, I thought. My instructor confirmed I was on Carla!! So I get to the stables, and realize........ Snickers’s favorite rider is using Carla’s bridle. “Life is fun. Great. The bridle That doesn’t fit anybody. Greeeeeeaaaaaaat. Also, how the duck are a 11-13hh pony’s head & a 17+hh Thoroughbred’s interchangeable??” So some lady obsessed with Belle comes up, starts pulling her mane (I’m like, ummmm, I’m riding her.?.? Hi?? Who are you??) eventually says “Are you Fi??” and gives me a bridling tutorial (when I say tutorial, I mean she shoved my hand under Carla’s bit and bough, while I shook out of fear and tried to pull away, cuz, ya know.... I got a warning Azul was a biter and I have the basic intelligence required to know NOT to shove my hand under the mouth of a 1200lb/544kg animal.) and told me to “take it easy” on her mouth. I always did this anyway, but ya girl Carla isn’t easy to slow down. I mount and immediately realize the bit had no effect on Carla- it took me 1/2 The arena to stop her. I then almost get cantered with whilst trotting a fence and my instructor yells at me. So that’s what I’ll call “The Beginning Of The End.” 6.). Fast forward to the next lesson(on Carla.). I ask about trying the canter........ aaaaaaaand I’m told “Not on Carla. Richie or Azul.” Great. Lovely. Wonderful. The lazy ones. Fantabulous. But, hey, the sooner I do it, the sooner I’ll be a Jumpers Champion on Carla. So I did- and asked for Richie, my favorite of the two. Richie liked me better anyway. But, alas, I got Azul. “Yay.” I was allotted cantering on the lunge line(useless way of making sure the horse doesn’t run away or anything and you don’t die.). Important d’tails for the next bit, one week later- - My instructor-instructor was NOT teaching me the canter. A groom/assistant was. - The groom/assistant did not pay attention when lunging me.... on the world’s laziest horse. Great going, sis. - She wasn’t being paid to teach me. As far as my parents(who paid for this) had no clue it wasn’t my instructor since I’d always thought, “Oh Fi. You dum-dum. ‘—————‘ would NEVER do ANYTHING that could hurt you.” - I got no instruction WHEN cantering. They came before(at most, a vague “sit.” At least, a vague “sit.”) Azul went into the canter, but nothing after except a bit of tongue clucking for Azul. - Azul was 30-31 years old. To put that into perspective, 90-93 human years, give or take a few as I think he was an Appendix QH. In the June sunlight. With no water. For 7 hours. Consecutively. OK, so fast forwards one lesson later. Everything goes OK, and then the equestrian’s total apocalypse strikes. The assistant (who we’ll call Ainslee) clips up the lunge line to Azul’s bit. The reins are tied up on Azul’s neck, and I’m hanging on with my hands under the saddle. She starts talking to my instructor, and Azul comes a little close to her. She smacks him (THHHWWWWAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkKkKKKkkKkkkKk!!!!!!!!) and he sidesteps with his head up, affronted. She then gets him going in a circle and proceeds to tell me to pick one hand up from clutching the saddle. I asked if I should start with one hand up or just pick one up whilst he’s cantering, and I get an abrupt, “I don’t care.” So that ended that!! She gets him going and I’ve got a hand up, and switching them. Suddenly, in the middle of me switching my hands, Azul stopped. 50-0, in about 2 seconds. I don’t remember a lot. I remember falling........ upwards(????????) on his neck. I don’t remember the suspension. I don’t remember the impact of hitting the ground from 15.2+ hands up. I just remember sitting, butt on the ground, Azul looking down on me like I’m the world’s greatest fool. Like I deserved a fancy plaque, emblazoned with “World’s Stupidest Equestrian & Greatest Fool.” Azul, why are you looking down at me?? I remember thinking as I got up. Then it hit me. Wow. I just fell. Cool. But, let’s laugh about this later. Back to my cantering. I tried to mount ground-up p(without a mounting block), before our lovely friend Ainslee finally notices I’m no longer perched on Azul. Then, of course, my instructor notices. “Fi, did you just fall??” I nodded. Then, while I’m in a weak state, she blames me for the fall. She hadn’t even seen what had happened. She just blamed me. In the most insensitive ways. She (insensitively) tells me that it “probably” won’t take as long as this time next year for me to canter again, that she had (mystically!! Ooh, spooky stuff����) known that I wasn't ready to canter all along and that she had "just wanted to see"(by gambling my safety on an unfit horse, and demonstrating animal abuse thus allowing Ainslee to smack Azul in the face), and that I have to stop crying(her fault anyway.) and I can’t control a horse if I’m crying. Well, I get try and mount, and what do ya know?? The saddle slides. TBH at this point she should have excused me from whatever she was trying to press at me, but nope!! I’m forced to get back on. And this woman tells my mother that I fell. Nothing about the fact that I won’t be cantering, that was just our little secret, I guess. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed!! Part 4 won’t take long, I hope!! Category:Blog posts